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I remembered, recently, that Mike and I were married on the Appalachian Trail.  I forgot, truly, in all these years since that day.  Boy, I feel silly.  It's clear that I don't live in the past much, except when I think about my waist size on that day.  Even more clear is that I'm not keeping the right things in perspective. ;-)  But really, I'm so future-minded, bless my heart, that I often forget the special times in my life.  It makes me all the more thankful for this little space that I've been writing in for nearly nice years.  Nine!

So, ten years.  Goodness, that's a long time when you're thirty-one.  Over a third of my life with Mike and it is hard to believe.  Things were so fresh and new and Springy that day.  It had been cold the week before and I wondered if I would wear long underwear under my dress.  I woke and went to get a hair cut and a massage by myself that day.  The women at the spa commented how calm I was.  I look nearly depressed in some of the pictures of the ceremony, but really, I was just at peace with the new place we were going.  As anxious of a person as I am (and boy, has this week been hard), I didn't feel that on my wedding day.  I think that is what was the big difference with Mike that had been present in other relationships--the anxiety.  I was excited to see him, always, but never nervous.

I am trying reach back to that time lately, to remember those early days.  They were special, for sure, when our lives were so simple.  We picked berries and collected nuts and took long walks.  All we owned was in the loft of my parents' garage.  I sewed my cloth napkins there at the top of the stairs.  Those are the ones that wipe little hands and faces now.  The green that the room was is now the color of our bedroom in the home we have shared for nine years now.  We were "rangers" then, working in the woods and wondering about the future, but still so glad to be in the moment.

This past year has been hard, I won't lie.  I haven't really said much about most of it, but I will say now that I think the dark times are lifting.  We are finding our own way out of the fog.  Years and years of poverty, seven years of bearing and nursing and raising children.  Ups and downs of employment.  It's been a lot, even with a heart toward voluntary simplicity.  It's still a lot, but we are getting better at treading water (which I cannot do in real water).  We're going on our first vacation in five years today.  I know that's naughty to say on the internet, but we'll be back tomorrow.  Don't steal my books.  All five of us will load up and go to the Walton's Mountain Museum and the Charlottesville Waldorf School.  We are beyond excited.  I'm looking forward, as I am so good at doing, to the years ahead.

Here's the blessing offered at our wedding:

May the silence of the hills,
The joy of the winds,
The peace of the fields,
The music of the birds,
The fire of the sun,
The strength of the trees,
And the faith of you--
In all of which is God--
Be in your hearts.

~The Appalachian Trail :: Ronald Fisher, NGS 1972

And now, well, I think I'll make a blueberry buckle for breakfast and the road, which I apparently did on this day in 2013. See how glad I am to have it recorded here?


( 8 trees — Plant a Forest )
May. 21st, 2015 01:36 pm (UTC)
Happy anniversary!
May. 24th, 2015 10:22 am (UTC)
Thank you!
May. 21st, 2015 10:40 pm (UTC)
Happy anniversary! I enjoyed reading your thoughts. Year 10 (well technically year 11, the year following our 10th anniversary) was really a good year for us, growing closer, so I pray it will be the same for you and Mike! :)
May. 24th, 2015 10:22 am (UTC)
Thank you! I hope so. :-)
(Deleted comment)
May. 24th, 2015 10:22 am (UTC)
Thank you!
(Deleted comment)
May. 24th, 2015 10:23 am (UTC)
Thank you!
( 8 trees — Plant a Forest )

A Blessed Wilderness

It was just like being in heaven, being in there. In those days there was no road. The park was all a blessed wilderness. I have often thought what a wonderful people we would have been if we had wanted to keep it that way.

~Adolph Murie, biologist, on Denali


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