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South | North

Shovel in the SnowSuppose we did our work
Like the snow, quietly, quietly.
Leaving nothing out.


~Wendell Berry

Oh, it is another week.  It seems the weekend ran me over.  All that snow and life and just too much.  Laurel hurt one of her fingers badly and that has cast a shadow over things.  I hardly even dare to mention it, honestly.  The sun was out yesterday, thawing things, and it just wasn't bright enough for me.  The house feels dull and dingy and a little like a prison.  I suppose that is Winter.  Summer can be blinding and unending, too, with nights that seem to be no reprieve from the day.

Mike made it home Saturday, only to leave again today.  It is only for a night, and then he'll be gone again Thursday.  The forecast looks quite bland and I am happy about that.  Seems we got the gentle part of the storm, a mere dusting compared to those North and East of us.  After a follow-up visit with the doctor this morning, we get on with a new week.  I cannot say that I am too thrilled about it.  There is the promise of weather in the upper forties by the end of the week and I think we will have to take to the woods.  I need it.

In all the anxiety of the past few weeks, I think I have held it together pretty well for the children.  There have been times I have fallen apart, but it has been brief.  I feel like bursting into tears right now.  Life can be grinding at times, just in its relentless march forward.  I don't know how Mike does his job sometimes.  I suppose it is his willfull nature that makes it work.  He is not someone to give up or be told what to do when it doesn't suit him.  It is an asset and a curse, like many things.

I have been trying to channel Ma and Pa Ingalls from The Long Winter lately.  Keeping up spirits has been more keeping up routines for me.  The verses in the Goodnight book are as much for me as they are for the children, "safe in [their] little bed[s] a'lying."  I think I need to learn the sunflower song Pa sang.  I sang lantern walk songs with Laurel while we waited for stitches and so on.  "I go outside with my Laurel, my Laurel goes with me, above the stars are shining bright, down here on Earth shines she. . . "  A new week, let me find new energy, too.

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Comments

( 2 trees — Plant a Forest )
blakdove
Jan. 25th, 2016 02:37 pm (UTC)
Hoping for refreshed, renewed spirits for you. It can be so tough just to be.
elberethmyrrh
Jan. 26th, 2016 01:51 am (UTC)
The end of January always feels to drag for me. Even without the snow. We've had endless rain, instead (sneaking out, as you saw, to the beach during one afternoon lull). I am hoping for renewed energy, as well, for us both...
( 2 trees — Plant a Forest )

A Blessed Wilderness

It was just like being in heaven, being in there. In those days there was no road. The park was all a blessed wilderness. I have often thought what a wonderful people we would have been if we had wanted to keep it that way.

~Adolph Murie, biologist, on Denali


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