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South | North

Light and Dark

Every day is sunny lately.  Sunny and clear and hot.  The humidity is not so high right now and it just feels so dry.  It seems everything is glaring and bright.  My eyes squint, just thinking about it.  I've been painting the porch again (that I did last Fall) and the paint seems to be drying exceedingly well.  It has been a good thing to have a Christmas theme to the week.  We've done it all, save for those Swedish Crackers.  I think that will be tomorrow morning.  That's not to say that all the moments have been golden or easy.  They haven't.


I think part of parenting, or mothering, is to act as a buffer to the world around us.  Some things are just not suitable for children to see, know, or hear.  Some of those things are worldwide news and others are close to home.  It can be hard to keep up spirits when things get challenging, but we must do it, I think.  It does not benefit them to know it all, right away.  We are to love and protect and balance, to keep the routines while the world tends toward chaos.  That is not for young children.  Those tasks (and burdens!) gladly return later in life when we start out on our own.  There are times that I still feel like I am just starting out on my own.

Under the Tree

I'm having some trouble keeping up my own spirits these days.  It's not depression; it's life.  We all have our struggles and mine feel especially heavy as of late.  Part of Christmas in July has been faking it, going along with my plans, keeping the children busy, still playing therapist.  Things have been out of balance in some areas of our lives for a long time now and we are walking a long path to get them right again.  I don't want to provide details, but I don't want to neglect the darkness in favor of the light.  Sometimes, it makes those innocent, joy-filled moments all the more beautiful, even if I would like to find some water without so many waves.

Heart Cakes

Joy and woe are woven fine,
A clothing for the soul divine.
Under every grief and pine
Runs a joy with silken twine.

~Auguries of Innocence :: William Blake


( 3 trees — Plant a Forest )
Jul. 22nd, 2016 10:26 pm (UTC)
Too much light
A co-worker and patron (I work at a public library) were remarking recently about how much they love all the sunny days we've had lately, how it lifts their spirits and gives them energy. I chimed in that I feel a sense of RELIEF when we have a cloudy day, to me it is too much pressure when it's sunny, I feel that I HAVE to be out doing all sorts of productive things. I have a tablecloth that I put over my east-facing kitchen window when the morning sun is beating in, and I feel so much better psychologically once the window is covered! I'm not sure what that means, but I think I understand your feelings about the bright sunlight being too much sometimes. We're all supposed to feel wonderful in the sunlight, but sometimes that's not the case. I found myself rejoicing (inwardly) the day after the solstice because it meant the days were growing shorter, but I couldn't broadcast that sentiment because it's not popular...

You are wise to be filtering your children's exposure to many of the happenings in our world these days. There is so much that is not suitable for ANYONE's consumption, and it can't hurt to let a child be a child for as long as possible. I admire the way you are so in tune with your children, I think you're doing a wonderful job with them! And it's good that you are so in tune with your own feelings, that can only be a plus in the grand scheme of things. : ) My husband worked nights during our children's growing-up years and I often felt like a single parent. I think your husband's work has him on odd schedules; it's not easy, for anyone concerned. Hang in there!

Please edit this or choose not to post it at all, I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in your feelings about life.
Jul. 25th, 2016 01:44 pm (UTC)
Re: Too much light
I feel just the same way about sunny days and the solstice. :-) The days ARE getting shorter and that helps me. I had to get thick roller shades and that really helped me.

Thank you for your kind words of encouragement!
Jul. 24th, 2016 03:46 pm (UTC)
This is such a beautiful post. I admire you so much for being a buffer for your children, and continuing to seek the light in dark times. Wishing you much strength and better times ahead. - Stacey
( 3 trees — Plant a Forest )

A Blessed Wilderness

It was just like being in heaven, being in there. In those days there was no road. The park was all a blessed wilderness. I have often thought what a wonderful people we would have been if we had wanted to keep it that way.

~Adolph Murie, biologist, on Denali


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