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Mud Pie, Fresh Flowers, and a Soul Fever

Buttercup Salad

Oh, what a weekend.  And this morning, it is so chilly!  It's a foggy 42° F here and rice pudding and sausage sound just perfect for breakfast.  The rest of the week is supposed to be warm, but I am having my doubts.  It's so funny to be without air condtioning in late Spring.  Oh, well.  So, mud pies.  I saw this sweet book on Stacey's blog, I think, and what fun it is.  There are many lovely ideas, though Mike and I both feel a bit skeptical about letting dolls around mud. ;-)  Nonetheless, it really is a wonderful book for inspiring children to gather things in their yard and use them to make beautiful, messy, sensory-integrating creations.  And we grown-ups love the sense of humor of the author, as well.
Finishing Touches
Speaking of flowers, nothing suits me more than to be simply covered up in fresh flowers these days.  I just need the sunshine to come right indoors.  The children were bringing in regular bouquets when many of the early Spring flowers were in bloom.  I picked a bunch of daisies at the Old Davis Homeplace yesterday and they are such a joy.  I'll probably pick more today, too.  I've been working to give flowers a really good sniff to determine their fragrances.  Roan seems to have a very sensitive nose, so I am following his lead.  Daises do smell just like a perfume from my mother's childhood, "Daisies Won't Tell."

The fresh flowers help me to feel optimistic, to hold onto beauty when things feel otherwise.  The reality of our lives here is that Mike is away most of the time, working on weekends to get ready for another week away.  It is hard to deal with that, honestly, even though I do treasure the ability to have things run the way I like all week long.  Still, one person, all the work, it is hard, and we simply don't have time to be together as much as we should.  This is not his fault, of course, we take the jobs we can get.  He works so hard all week and drives into the night to get to the next place or get home.  As much as I love my children and they love me, things get hard from time to time.  Even though I am happy to stay busy, I still struggle with being introvert and the abounding energy that three children have.

Daisies and PeoniesAll the projects that we took on have left us drained in every way possible, and I am glad they are over.  Routines have been work to hold onto and a few of the sacred moments of family time have slipped away.  I think all this has contributed, in addition to my own unrest, to bit of a rough patch for Roan.  Sweet, easygoing fellow that he is, when his pendulum swings, it reveals some difficulties.  It has felt like all my old standby's have simply not worked, but then I recall that perhaps I have not had the energy to look to them all.  I try to keep connected, as much as I can, and to be extra cuddly to him, but it is hard.  I think things reached a peak this weekend, or I hope they did.  I found myself reading this article and then learning about Kurt Hahn and feeling like it was time to start the Summer nature school stuff this week.  It must be so hard to be five and be someone who really wants purpose.  I don't remember much, myself, other than hating dresses.  Nonetheless, the woods, the children, it must happen.

You can always tell a hard day when Healing Stories for Challenging Behaviour is out on the table.  I spent lunchtime Saturday, our 11th anniversary, reading stories to the children as Mike went to get a special take-out meal for us.  I think it helped to ease things a little.  It seems things have just become so scattered, little things have gone by the wayside as I have focused on survival.  We have kept a neat home, we've done well with school work, and we've got a nice start to a garden.  My standards for myself are high, I know that, and there are so many details and distractions in each day.  I've been good at removing the ones that I could (like computer time) and working to get things done early in the morning.  Maybe now I will be able to take us the rest of the way.

Comments

( 8 trees — Plant a Forest )
blakdove
May. 23rd, 2016 06:28 pm (UTC)
I hope things reset soon. If not, well, my earlier offer still stands :)
(Anonymous)
May. 24th, 2016 07:11 am (UTC)
Sending strength
It was somewhat heartbreaking to read your recent out pour of thoughts, of the struggles, the tender family moments which we all treasure so much. I have been reading your blog for almost a year now and it gives me great pleasure to have this one-sided "virtual relationship" going, especially when it is with like-minded people like yourself. BUT the downside of that is that although it may be easy for you, the writer, to reach out and lay down your hurt in words, as you did in this post, for us, the readers, it is especially hard to hold you and give your encouragement and the strength that we-all-so-need every now and then...! Here comes a bunch of blessings and warm thoughts from across the ocean onto your computer screen. Keep going, stay sane (and 'survive' as you put it) and rough patches will be overcome! hugs, Katja xx
impossibleway
May. 24th, 2016 10:41 am (UTC)
Re: Sending strength
Thank you for your kind and encouraging words! Do you have a blog of your own?
impossibleway
May. 24th, 2016 10:40 am (UTC)
Thank you! Oh, how I wish I could take you up on it!
elberethmyrrh
May. 24th, 2016 07:19 am (UTC)
One of my very favorite things to do as a child was to play "recipe", which was, basically, the gathering and mixing of all kinds of flowers, berries (not edible kinds, usually), and greenery, and turn them into a soup or pie. My version of mud pies. ;) I think I would love that book!

We did the long weeks away for over a year, so I know you know I understand. It is just plain hard, no matter how well we do keep up the home front. Even when everything gets done as it should, it still feels like survival mode. ::hugs::
impossibleway
May. 24th, 2016 10:42 am (UTC)
That is often what Willow does. Thankfully, not all the recipes involve mud. Many sprinklings of sand and brick dust, which suits Willow very well.

Thanks for your understanding. :-)
(Anonymous)
May. 24th, 2016 04:38 pm (UTC)
I think that is a common downsides to house projects around small children - even for those of us who try to include our children in meaningful work as much as we can, this is not always possible - sometimes the things just have to be done by an adult, or hired workers... all that is a drain on our own energies, and our time, and what is left of us at the end of the day. As pleasing as the end results are, it does create disruption for everyone. I certainly see this in my own family. But it passes. : ) It's hard to have everything on your own shoulders, to be separated so much from your husband - I know. I tend to set high standards for myself, too - I try to go easy on myself but sometimes I have to check myself if I'm being too hard on myself for not meeting them. It sounds to me like you are doing well - your home, your schoolwork, your garden - you should be proud! I know the feelings of overwhelm, though - wishing for peace, connection, rest - a pause button!

I read the article you linked to with great interest - thanks for sharing that.

Oh - and, yes, we do have that cookbook! I love that little book so much. Willow's flower creations are lovely - that is all so much fun. - Stacey
impossibleway
May. 24th, 2016 06:58 pm (UTC)
Thank you for your understanding and well wishes. :-) That link--I might have to read it more than once, as there was a lot there.
( 8 trees — Plant a Forest )

A Blessed Wilderness

It was just like being in heaven, being in there. In those days there was no road. The park was all a blessed wilderness. I have often thought what a wonderful people we would have been if we had wanted to keep it that way.

~Adolph Murie, biologist, on Denali


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© impossibleway

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