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The View from Here :: Growing Happy

I think that it is safe to say that things are improving around here.  We've dealt with a baffling case of peer orientation in the past few weeks (or more!).  It was rather unexpected to me, or perhaps not.  I don't know.  It took awhile to untangle the knots and get things right again, I know that.  I can see now that my parents had geography in their favor during their difficult spells with me.  Living in town, right up next to folks, makes it a little harder.  Location, location, location!

You are Your Child's First Teacher

Anyway, I gave it a lot of thought before I decided to write about this experience.  It's easy to fall into oversharing and being overly private.  Let's take the middle.  The things I write are still pretty delicate and may steps on some toes.  I really felt like I had lost hold of my dear boy in the past month or so.  It was exasperating at times, and sad at others.  We had to give up plans for our anniversary, things were so out of sorts.  Our whole family seemed to have lost its equilibrium and my sweet children seemed but a memory.

Washing Silks

I'm often overwhelmed by the volume of work I have to do and I think I let the fun things slip.  I don't mean to say that every day should be some sort of wonderful circus, but I found myself saying "no" to nearly every request.  The little things, shown in these pictures, are the very things that hold a family together.  Simply put, activities with family should be the preferred ones, truly.  I think I let myself listen to folks who say that children need lots of social time in order to be "balanced," instead of listening to my own inner compass.  I think that depends on a lot of variables and, in our situation, less is more.

More Christmas

I don't mean to sound overly dramatic about things, but it was a real source of worry to me.  My sweet, sweet boy had turned away from me.  He was doing many things that were out of character and it was upsetting us all.  He needed some boundaries, yes, we all did.  New boundaries that helped us to find freedom in a new way.  He also needed more connection and help with play.  My efforts with practical work and movement were falling flat.  I needed all the pieces to make things work, as burdened as I felt.

Sisters

So, we've been learning to play again.  I've set up numerous scenarios, as you can see, and simply played with the children.  We've worked on playing games that get us thinking of others, of taking care of each other, and enjoying simplicity.  They've sorted buttons and made play dough cakes.  I've let them felt soap and get all wet.  We built a simple swing and put it in a dogwood tree that affords us a bit of privacy.  The hammock chair joined it, too.  We've been reading healing stories and doing some very real healing ourselves.

Proud Smile

He smiles again now--big, swelling smiles.  He does kind things for others now.  He's able to sink into play and we argue much, much less.  I learned a lot from this.  It's easy for me to just want to do the many, many things that need doing and spend less time simply enjoying life.  I am more actively involved again, but less so, too.  There is less fighting and more fun together.  I take time to give my full attention to things and that goes a long way.

Cakes

I share all this not to prove how wonderful I am or to show that we all have shortcomings.  I am sharing it to give ideas for when children get into moods they can't seem to turn loose for weeks or months on end.  It's a sign that it's time for the family to learn to have fun together again, to see how much each person really contributes.  There will be some difficult moments, like when someone refuses to come down out of a tree, but things work out when we are steady and strong.

A Guide to Child Health

If all this weren't enough, we caught colds this week. We tend to get sick in the Summer instead of Winter.  Being sick is always our pressure release valve, a time for soul development.  We've been working hard, inside and out, lately and this is a good time for slowing down and driving through the country.  Maybe I should do that today. . .

Comments

( 3 trees — Plant a Forest )
(Anonymous)
Jun. 4th, 2016 01:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much for sharing your experience... Marike
(Deleted comment)
impossibleway
Jun. 8th, 2016 11:25 am (UTC)
I remember that. I have been meaning to ask you about it. I have one of those harps at my parents' house. I have been thinking about bringing it to mine. I guess it will need new strings. Thank goodness I have someone who can help me with that.
( 3 trees — Plant a Forest )

A Blessed Wilderness

It was just like being in heaven, being in there. In those days there was no road. The park was all a blessed wilderness. I have often thought what a wonderful people we would have been if we had wanted to keep it that way.

~Adolph Murie, biologist, on Denali


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© impossibleway

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