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In the Sun


But now I am mostly at the window
Watching the late afternoon light.


~Billy Collins :: "On Turning Ten"

Watching Dust 2


I think this photo really captures where Willow is these days, watching dust motes in the late-day sun. There is something shifting within her, something changing, a tumble out of early childhood into this middle world where things don't feel quite right.  There was a good while where play was hard or disintegrating for her.  She wanted to join, but couldn't sink into things or struggled with conflict when she did.  The warm weather has been a help in that way--the children are spending a lot of time outside making up their own games.  I watched Willow take hold of something on the ground and give a tug over at the Roland Estate.  They spent a long time pulling wild onions and collecting many pine cones.  They were so involved in their play, they almost didn't notice as I walked by them.

I'm reading, among other things, I am Different from You, which is a book on middle childhood and the experiences children have around nine and ten.  I love the world of early childhood, who wouldn't?  But, there is more to life than things seen in a gauzy pinkness.  I still have two children there, of course, but Willow needs me in a different way.  The end of Autumn and beginning of Winter was characterized by nightmares, worry, and other oddities.  In a recent consultation, I was able to discuss her seeming fall from paradise and ways that we have coped with it.  Right on time, the third grade year will tackle this fall by grounding the child on Earth.  We're looking forward to all the gardening, spinning, dyeing, and other projects we might tackle, along with the long-awaited creation stories.

She was so sweet the other day, so full of wonder as she watched the sparkling dust.  Fairies--that's what she says they are.  I have no wish to tell her otherwise.  There are times that I think part of being a good adult is remembering what it is to be a child.

Comments

( 5 trees — Plant a Forest )
(Anonymous)
Feb. 20th, 2017 08:16 pm (UTC)
Ah Brandy - I went through the same with my eldest just last year - Willow is a year behind her. They are both Scorpios I think (?) , so will feel things very intensely anyway. It started right after my daughter turned nine and lasted pretty much until her tenth birthday. There is a change in their eyes, the way they look at things and my daughter is still unsettled at night at times and has fears about growing up almost daily ( not helped by her friends talking politics that scares her), but she still believes in fairies, father Christmas and magic, and I do so hope this won't end too abruptly for her... I wrote a post about the nine year old change on my blog at the time. I don't think you would have seen it? https://amothershares.wordpress.com/2016/05/14/soul-fever-part-1/
Having a consultation about it sounds like a good idea. Now my daughter has started slowly developing physically too since becoming ten. There is so much to come. It is good to share things with others going through the same times. Things will get more complicated, but also interesting too. I do miss the early years, but there is still plenty of wonder, like you saw in your daughter. Those sweet girls. :-)
impossibleway
Feb. 21st, 2017 12:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks for sharing. :-) We can't talk politics here, for that very reason. Willow is eight, but she seems to have a head start on things. I will have to read your post.
(Anonymous)
Feb. 22nd, 2017 09:23 am (UTC)
Ah so Willow is two years younger. My daughter is funnily enough always very predictable in her development! Yes every child is different in their development and I think Steiner said it could happen any time from eight to ten; the change. I think fears surface all through development and I think if she has overheard anything negative about the world,it can get into the more sensitive child very quickly as they have such a thin etheric 'layer' (or whatever it is called!) Wishing you all well xxx
(Deleted comment)
impossibleway
Feb. 23rd, 2017 11:18 am (UTC)
I'm right there with you. I'll keep you posted if I come up with anything helpful. Hugs. :-)
( 5 trees — Plant a Forest )

A Blessed Wilderness

It was just like being in heaven, being in there. In those days there was no road. The park was all a blessed wilderness. I have often thought what a wonderful people we would have been if we had wanted to keep it that way.

~Adolph Murie, biologist, on Denali


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© impossibleway

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